The last ten nights of Ramadan are filled with Barakah and opportunities to draw near to Allah . Within these final days, Muslims seek that one night that is better than a thousand months, Laylatul-Qadr.
The Messenger of Allah said:
In it [Ramadan] there is a night which is better than a thousand months, and whoever is deprived of its goodness is indeed deprived.” (al-Nasa’i, 2106; Ahmad, 8769)
Should we be deprived of the “goodness” of Laylatul Qadr just because we are mothers? Of course not!
Although it can be hard to find the time and energy to make the most of these Blessed nights, do not be disheartened. There are ways we can increase in ibadah and benefit from the last ten nights of Ramadan, whilst still meeting the needs of our children and spouses.
In this blog post, we will share some ideas to help mothers like you and I, make the most of these last ten nights.
Here is our Mother’s Guide to Laylatul Qadr!
What is Laylatul Qadr?
Laylatul Qadr the night that the Quran was first revealed to the Prophet and the night in which the destiny of creation is decided for the coming year.
فِيهَا يُفْرَقُ كُلُّ أَمْرٍ حَكِيمٍ
Therein that night is decreed every precise matter (44:4)
It is in this night that Allah decides who will live and who will die, who will be felicitous and who will be doomed, who will go to Paradise and who will go to the Hell-fire, who will be granted honour and who will be humiliated, and all that Allah wills for the coming year.
Allah tells us in Surah Al-Qadr (97), that this night is better than a thousand months (that’s 83 years)!
إِنَّا أَنزَلْنَاهُ فِي لَيْلَةِ الْقَدْر
Indeed, We sent the Qur’an down during the Night of Decree
وَمَا أَدْرَاكَ مَا لَيْلَةُ الْقَدْر
And what can make you know what is the Night of Decree?
لَيْلَةُ الْقَدْرِ خَيْرٌ مِّنْ أَلْفِ شَهْر
The Night of Decree is better than a thousand months.
تَنَزَّلُ الْمَلَائِكَةُ وَالرُّوحُ فِيهَا بِإِذْنِ رَبِّهِم مِّن كُلِّ أَمْر
The angels and the Spirit descend therein by permission of their Lord for every matter.
سَلَامٌ هِيَ حَتَّىٰ مَطْلَعِ الْفَجْرِ
Peace it is until the emergence of dawn.
It was the tradition of the Prophet to spend the last ten nights of Ramadan in worship, in prayer, making duaa, and in the remembrance of Allah .
With the start of the last ten days of Ramadan, the Prophet used to tighten his waist belt (i.e. work harder) and used to pray the whole night, and used to keep his family awake for the prayers. [Bukhari]
Abu Hurayrah relates that the Prophet said:
“Whoever stands (in the voluntary night prayer of) Ramadan out of faith and in the hope of reward, his previous sins will be forgiven. And whoever spends the night of Lailat Al-Qadr in prayer out of faith and in the hope of reward, his previous sins will be forgiven.”
Although we cannot be certain which day Laylatul Qadr will fall on, there are hadith to indicate that it will be on an odd night in the last ten days, and some hadith mention the 27th Ramadan specifically.
Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, related that the Prophet said:
“Look for Laylatul Qadr on an odd-numbered night during the last ten nights of Ramadan.”
However trying to fit in these extra acts of worship, having fasted all month, and whilst still caring for you family, can be difficult. If you cannot engage in more Ibadah for all ten nights, then at least do so for the odd nights; and if you cannot do the odd nights, then at least make more effort on the 27th Ramadan. Whatever your situation and limitations, there are ways you can make your time more productive and beneficial.
Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, said:
I asked the Messenger of Allah: ‘O Messenger of Allah, if I know what night is the night of Qadr, what should I say during it?’ He said: ‘Say: O Allah, You are pardoning and You love to pardon, so pardon me.’ ”
(Ahmad, Ibn Majah, and Tirmidhi).
You can listen to the dua’ here:
Here are a few tips to help mothers make the most of Laylatul Qadr:
- Before the last ten days of Ramadan, try to plan ahead and prepare your home so that you will be less distracted in the coming days and nights.
- Cooking fresh food every day can be time consuming. Instead, double up your recipes now and freeze them to be eaten later in the last ten days. Not only will this save you time cooking, it will also minimise the clean-up in the kitchen afterwards.
- Take some time to write out your favourite duaas and compile a list of those you wish to make duaa for. Having this collection on hand will help you to remain focussed during those last ten nights and help you to use your time effectively.
- Similarly, compile the playlist of who you want to listen to during the nights. As women, we are notoriously good at multi-tasking. So why not use this skill and listen to a lecture whilst cleaning the dishes or mopping the floor.
- Do the big cleaning jobs now. This might mean deep cleaning the bathrooms, mowing the grass or cleaning out the fridge. If you do this work now, you will have more time to focus on your Lord in the last ten days and nights.
- Similarly, if you have any work due, try to complete it now so that you are not distracted by it during these Blessed nights.
- Try to establish a nap time during the day for the whole family. Getting sufficient rest during the day is necessary to make the most of the last ten nights.
- Make preparations for Eid now! Buying all the gifts and decorations now will save you time and energy, so you can make the most of the last ten days.
Involve your children
The experience of seeking Laylatul Qadr is one that should be shared with our children. The excitement of staying up late with their parents, and the magic of that night, will create memories they will treasure forever.
However, as much as we want them to be present and witness these moments, we also need the children to be occupied so we can use this time productively.
Here are a few ideas of activities your children can do during Laylatul Qadr:
- Gift Box
On the 27th night, give you children a gift box of special treats, books and toys that they can use during the night.
- Read Surah Al-Qadr and the tafseer.
We highly recommend the Mini Tafseer Series by Ad-Duha Institute, which explains the tafseer of the short surahs in a simple, child-friendly way.
- Balloon Tree
Build a balloon tree with your family. Each balloon contains a question about Laylatul Qadr or Surah Al-Qadr. Take it in turns to pop the balloons and see who answers the most questions correctly.
- Book Shelf
Collect together some special Islamic children’s books and display them on a shelf for your children to read during the night. Make the shelf even more enticing by decorating it with fairy-lights and tinsel.
- Treasure Hunt
A treasure hunt is a great way to boost energy levels and enthusiasm as the night goes on. Hide sweets, chocolate or Islamic facts cards around your home for them to find.
- Muslim Children’s Apps
There are a multitude of Muslim children’s apps now available that can educate and keep your children occupied.
- Islamic Games
Board games are a fun way to educate you children about Islam, whilst also having fun together as a family.
- Arts and Crafts
Art activities are a fantastic way to teach children about Islam, whilst also encouraging creativity. If your children need inspiration click HERE for a list of Ramadan craft ideas.
- Islamic Cartoons
- Indoor Itikaaf Tent
Set up a tent indoors, complete with pillows, snacks and books of duaas. Make this little ‘den’ the place where your children can go to make duaa and enagage in dhikr. It’s their special place for itikaaf.
- Make Duaa Flashcards
Encourage your child to write out this duaa on card, decorate it, and read from it throughout the night.
What can I do if I’m not praying?
If your menstruation begins within the last ten days of Ramadan, there are still many acts of Ibadah that you can do to gain benefit from this Blessed time and still feel spiritually connected with this month.
- Engage in dhikr (remembrance of Allah )
- Make sincere dua’
- Spend time in reflecting and in deep thought
- Seeking beneficial knowledge: Shaykh Abdul Nasir Jangda recommends listening to, or reading, the Seerah of the Prophet as this will be spiritually uplifting.
- Sit in good company
Whatever your situation is, remember that Allah knows the difficulties you face and the limitations of being a mother. However do not lose hope. Seize what opportunities you can to draw nearer to Him by referring to the above.
How do you prepare for Laylatul Qadr? How do you involve your family in the night? Do you have any tips you can share with other mothers?
Please let us know in the comment below.